Grief and Massage Therapy
You feel as if your heart has been ripped out of your body. You can’t catch your breath. The tears seem endless. Or maybe they won’t come at all. Just when you think you’re “over it,” a tsunami of pain sweeps over you again, unannounced and debilitating.
Grief affects everyone differently. In all cases, though, it affects your entire being. Your muscles are tensed, your energy level is non-existent, and life itself becomes overwhelming. Even small, daily tasks become impossible. Sleep may elude you for several days, then you do nothing but sleep. In some cases, an attempt to ignore the grief is the reaction and the body and mind suffer from that attempt, too.
It’s important to pay attention to your body AND your soul as you work through your grief. You will never be “over it.” So, what exactly is happening to your body and how do you “relax” and care for yourself?
The Physical Effects of Loss and Grief
Your physical condition is being affected by grief, right along with your emotional pain. The long-term stress and emotional trauma that accompany grief are wearing your body out.
Fatigue and Exhaustion:
Grief can be emotionally and physically draining, leading to persistent tiredness and low energy levels.
Sleep Disturbances:
Difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or experiencing nightmares are common.
Changes in Appetite:
Grieving individuals may experience a loss of appetite or, conversely, overeating as a coping mechanism.
Aches and Pains:
Physical discomfort, including headaches, muscle aches, and stomach upset, can occur.
Weakened Immune System:
Grief can temporarily weaken the immune system, making individuals more susceptible to illness.
Cardiovascular Issues:
Intense grief can be associated with increased risk of cardiovascular events, including heart palpitations, chest pain, and even "broken heart syndrome".
Gastrointestinal Problems:
Grief can affect the digestive system, leading to nausea, stomach upset, and changes in bowel habits.
Other Physical Manifestations:
Some people may experience shortness of breath, dizziness, or a racing heart.
Benefits of Massage Therapy for Those Who Are Grieving
Massage can help you treat the physical effects of grief, providing comfort, relaxation, and muscle relief. Massage also aids blood flow and releases endorphins which soothe your nervous system and help you to mentally unwind while giving you back the energy you need to find the other side of your loss.
You can experience the following as a result of a professional massage with an experienced therapist:
Releasing stress held in the body
Promoting healthy circulation
Releasing muscles to ease pain
Releasing endorphins to allow mental relaxation
Creating a safe space where you can feel safe and unwind
Providing the comfort of gentle touch and consideration
Promote better sleep
Soothing Gentle Massages
Grief often leaves you tired, tender, and delicate. Gentle massage provides a soothing touch through key areas of your body. Each motion promotes blood flow, releases lactic acid built up in your muscles, and provides a sense of comforting safety.
Here are some ways that gentle massage can help during grief:
Focus on Relaxation:
Grief massage prioritizes relaxation over "fixing" physical symptoms, creating a safe space for processing emotions.
Gentle Strokes:
Use predictable, gentle strokes on areas like the face, scalp, neck, shoulders, back, arms, hands, lower legs, and feet.
Areas to Focus On:
Face: Gently cup the cheeks and forehead.
Scalp: Use gentle circular motions.
Neck and Shoulders: Apply slow, calming strokes.
Back: Use long, gliding strokes.
Arms and Hands: Gently massage the arms and hands, focusing on the palms and fingers.
Lower Legs and Feet: Cup the feet and ankles, focusing on warmth and grounding.
Through soft touch and gentle safety, a person experiencing grief can unwind, allow themselves to process, and perhaps relax for the first time in weeks.
